5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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