do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
