I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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