what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
