i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ttyl tear gas
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
