ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
