Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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