this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
