what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
