Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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