I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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