i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize