If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
MIDGETS
????
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
