I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
wow bdsm is so cute
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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