I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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