I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
