What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
