Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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