Got a toothbrush?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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