yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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