Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You can't special order awesome
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
