Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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