The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
