The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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