He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
