Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A+ Viking dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
