i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
