No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
