You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
