my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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