thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
