this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
