i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
