Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
