I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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