How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
