Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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