Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need a beard to bite.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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