My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
