You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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