My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
