similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
