I am puke
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you will always have a special place in my vag
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
