Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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