hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
