I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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