I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
