How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
