i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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