If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize