He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
These tits shall not be calmed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
