shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
