I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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