I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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