I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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