I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
