He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my vagina is haunted
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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